Sunday, September 25, 2005

The customer is nuts

Do you know why we call a service man to our house? Certainly not because we know how to fix what we want fixed, but because we don't know how to fix what we want fixed. I hate it when a customer starts to grill me about a job I am doing for them; often long before I am finished. What do they think-that when I stop and answer their questions that the clock stops. No! It doesn't. I do like telling them that I answer questions and it is gonna cost them a buck a minute whether I am working on their equipment or talking to them. Which would they prefer.

That by the way Steve is why I clamed that my name in Japanese is really Ahhh-so and not what a previous entry of mine said.

I don't tend to blame them too much after all most of them are spoiled by the Air-conditioning and now are HOT. Crazy HOT. To which I say have patience because they have just gotten the most persistent and conscientious HVAC tech in this whole region. In fact that may be my main problem. I will try to fix some stuff that should be junked.

Most HOT customers though are pretty well burnt by the time I get there and for some reason don't seem to understand that if they would save the questions until I write the bill that they would get cooooler faster. But NOOO. They have to ask me:

Have you found the problem yet? (said with a nasally wine)

What is wrong with It? (It is broke I tell them)

Do you know what your doing?(which I try from then on to make them feel like I may not just to see them turn blue with fear)
How long have you been doing this job?(oh-only since last week, I tell them)

How much is it going to cost?(I will tell the next customer that asks that one I have a surgeon on standby for when I finish the work to amputate whatever appendage I deem necessary for payment.)

How come it stopped working. (to which I love to say "Oh I don't know, Stuff breaks, gets old, and wears out, people abuse things or it was an act of God".)

I know I know I shouldn't be so customer friendly and honest but you know how I feel about lieing. Beside I have always felt that the customer deserves the absolute truth about what I am doing and how I feel about their equipment, after all it is their stuff I am working on. Now if I could just find a way to tell them how I feel about them without making them mad.

For instance one day when a particularly interested customer who insisted that he worked on electronics in airplanes and persisted in trying to tell me how to fix a furnace to which I finally told him to go sit down in the living room I wasn't building an airplane here just wiring up a air handler. The guy freaked and I just don't know why?

How about the time I kept getting called back to the house where a wife with a husband that had alzhiemers kept trying to blame us for her A/C problems until one day I discovered that the husband was going up to the T-stat and shortcycling the unit until it would quit. He had blown up the gas furnace(luckily it was a package unit and the explosion occurred outside). Oh, but no, it was our fault. God...Does that woman know that her life is in jeopardy? NOooo. Can't tell her that either,I tried....... she freaked.

How about the time that I practically saved a woman's life. This is an interesting one. She calls up and says, "if my carbon monoxide detector is going off does that mean my furnace is bad?" I asked,"How do you feel, do you have a headache and feel nauseous?" To which she replied,"Yes I do". I said "Turn off your furnace and go outside immediately and I will come right over". You know when I got there that she was still in the house and still running that furnace. God. Help me have patience with these people. She is a freaking nurse at the hospital. She should have known the symptoms. I checked her furnace and woah. The heat ex-changer was broke and pumping enough carbon monoxide into her house to supply a Nazi concentration camp. I shut it down and then disable it and made her go outside and get some fresh air. Just the couple of minutes I spent in her house made me woosy. She must have been an carbon monoxide breathing alien to still be conscious.

C-mon people if you knew how to fix your stuff you would have done it yourself and not called my company. Get with the program. I know their are schiesters and just plain old morons for technicians out there but are you people so jaded that you can't tell when a sincere technician has showed up to do the work or is their just no hope for America?